⚡ David Bowie Taught Me This Lesson ...

What you’ll find in this week’s newsletter:

• ⚡ David Bowie Taught Me This Lesson... [True Story]

• 🚨 Trump Tariffs Are Illegal?!

• ⏰ Improve Your Main Image in Seconds!

• 🔥 Amazon’s Largest Seller is Going Public

• 🍌 Nano Banana: Is the Latest AI Tool Worth the Hype?

Hey Beardos, press releases are getting more and more popular to rank with AI. If you’d like to try it out, reach out to me and we can talk more about it.

And as usual…

Reply to this email with “#wheelofkelsey” for a chance an Amazon audit for one ASIN and call (value $1500) from the one and only, Oana Pădurariu. The result will be announced on Wednesday during the podcast 🔥

Have a great Monday.

⚡ David Bowie Taught Me This... [TRUE STORY] 

Back in the 90s, my wife and I had this absolutely unbelievable experience.

One of my clients at the time knew it was our anniversary and decided to give us a surprise that blew us away.

They got us into this incredibly intimate David Bowie concert in Toronto.

I'm talking about 300 people in the room, and we were basically standing six feet away from Bowie.

It was absolutely surreal.

But here's the thing I really want to get across, and I know some folks might find this a little bit controversial.

In business, when you really go that extra mile for your clients and you're not just thinking about yourself or the bottom line, but you're genuinely focused on providing top-notch service, these kinds of things happen.

Sometimes you might put in that weekend work or go the extra mile that others wouldn't even consider.

In the long run, it pays off in ways you can't always predict.

That Bowie concert was just one example.

We ended up getting invited to things like the Grand Prix in Montreal with VIP access, or front-row seats at the Toronto Raptors.

And all of that came just because we did our job not just well, but exceptionally well.

The business lesson here is pretty simple.

If you go all in and you really deliver, you'll find yourself in some pretty amazing places or getting referrals to your business.

If you do things half-assed, well, you're probably not going to keep those clients around for very long.

Enjoy the rest of the newsletter.

— Norm

🚨 Trump's Global Tariffs Ruled Illegal

Federal appeals court struck down Trump's 10% “reciprocal tariffs” on imports from nearly every country in a 7-4 decision.

The court said using emergency powers to impose these broad tariffs was illegal overreach.

Trump argued trade deficits were a national emergency but the court disagreed.

What does this mean for business?

The tariffs remain in place until mid-October 2025.

Trump is in the process of appealing to the Supreme Court.

As of right now, you'll pay the same import costs on goods from China, Mexico, Canada, and most other trading partners.

The Key Date: October 14, 2025

After October 14th, these reciprocal tariffs become unenforceable unless the Supreme Court intervenes.

If the Supreme Court upholds the ruling, businesses could see refunds on billions in tariff payments collected since the policy launched.

If they reverse it, expect tariffs to stay and Trump could use emergency powers more aggressively for future trade policies.

What's NOT affected:

Steel, aluminum, and copper tariffs still stay intact, as those were imposed under different presidential authority.

Only the broad "reciprocal tariffs" affecting most imported goods are in question.

Want more details?

 🔥 Improve Your Main Image in Seconds!

Here’s how you can level up your main image in seconds…

Say you want to spruce up your boring main image.

Maybe you’d like to try out some ooey gooey brownies for your cooking tray image...

Well, you can easily create any asset you want to use in your Amazon main image with a quick AI asset generator.

What if you already have an image?

Just draw over an area you'd like to change.

There’s no fancy prompt required.

You can also split test in a click to see if shoppers would prefer your pan to be marketed for cookies or brownies.

Pretty cool, right?

🔥 You can check it out here for more info! (This is not an ad, I just think this is a pretty useful tool.)

🔥 E-Com Finally Returns to its COVID Peak!

E-commerce just hit 16.3% of retail sales… Exactly where we were during COVID's peak in 2020.

It took five years to climb back but we’re back!

The big lesson…

Companies like Shopify and Amazon massively overbet on permanent behavior change.

Shopify doubled headcount, Amazon added 427K employees, then both did major layoffs when growth crashed from 42% to 6.5%.

E-commerce was gaining roughly 1% retail share annually pre-pandemic.

We took a wild detour through crisis and correction.

Physical retail continues growing as total retail expanded 40% since 2018 to $7.4 trillion.

Amazon and Warby Parker are scaling back "try at home" services, showing digital-only commerce has limits.

If you’d like to read more about it, check out the deep dive here.

🌎 Where in the World is The Beard Guy?

📈 Amazon’s Biggest Seller is Going Public?

Pattern, one of Amazon's largest third-party sellers globally, just filed to go public.

The Lehi, Utah company posted $1.14 billion in revenue for the first half of 2025, up 35% from $841 million the same period last year.

Net income jumped from $35 million to $47 million in the six-month period.

Over 90% of Pattern's revenue comes from selling consumer products on Amazon.

The company was valued at $2 billion in a 2021 funding round.

Pattern started selling products from a living room and grew into a major Amazon reseller by managing brands and optimizing operations on the platform.

They handle everything from product listings to logistics for consumer brands selling on Amazon.

Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan are leading the offering.

Pattern will trade on Nasdaq under "PTRN."

The IPO is expected to launch after Labor Day when the new listings market typically picks up activity.

This marks one of the largest Amazon-focused businesses going public.

😮 SEO Has Changed Forever… | Dan Kurtz

My takeaways from this episode! (Full episode dropping this week on YouTube):

1. Turn A+ Into Your SEO Engine

Treat A+ content like on-page SEO: mirror your website’s FAQs in accordion-style sections below the fold (size, fit, shipping, use cases, compatibility). Write concise, question-led blocks that naturally include search terms. Reuse the same modules on your DTC PDPs so both Amazon and Google see rich, intent-matching answers.

2. Buffer Your Backlinks (Don’t Nuke Your PDP)

Never blast Fiverr links directly at your listing. Instead, post a branded Pinterest pin (or public Google Doc / Medium post) that links to your PDP, then send any “cheap” links to that pin/post. The authority site absorbs the junk, and your listing receives the cleaned link equity.

3. Plant Flags Where Your Buyers Hang Out

Use SparkToro (or similar) to find your audience’s podcasts, subreddits, and social channels. Create official brand profiles there and publish one “pillar” post per week that links to your Amazon or DTC page. These are safe, crawlable links that also seed real demand where buyers already congregate.

4. Reddit Answers & Quora for “People Also Ask”

Answer real buyer questions in Reddit (especially r/… relevant niches and reddit.com/answers) and Quora with practical, non-promotional advice. Include one contextual link to your resource/pin/PDP. Upvoted answers often surface in Google’s “People also ask,” feeding both brand authority and referral sales.

5. Get Into LLMs with an llms.txt

Add an llms.txt file at your domain root listing your official brand URLs: homepage, PDPs, press room, social profiles, YouTube, Pinterest boards, Reddit/Quora profiles. LLM crawlers use these to build brand understanding. Then publish a quick blog post summarizing your product line and link it inside llms.txt.

BONUS: The Power of Press Releases

Ship a PR when you launch new SKUs, bundles, or milestones. Include 1–2 links: your DTC PDP and/or Amazon PDP. Choose a distributor with Google News inclusion. After 90 days, identify PR placements that persist and do a light “PR-to-PR” refresh linking back to those URLs to keep them alive and passing equity.

🔥 My Wife Quit Her Job So We Built a $1M Brand

Here are my favorite tips from this episode!

1. Sell to Emotions, Not Just Keywords

When you move beyond Amazon into DTC, it’s no longer enough to rank for keywords. You need to trigger human motivators. The “Life Force 8” framework outlines eight core drivers of buying decisions.

• Survival, enjoyment of life, life extension

• Enjoyment of food and beverages

• Freedom from fear, pain, and danger

• Sexual companionship

• Comfortable living conditions

• To be superior, winning, and keeping up with the Joneses

• Care and protection of loved ones

• Social approval

2. Validate on Amazon, Scale on DTC

Amazon is a great launchpad, but it shouldn’t be your forever home. Use Amazon to validate demand, then transition sales into your own channels. Collect emails, build SMS lists, and capture repeat purchases where you control the relationship and aren’t squeezed by fees.

3. Turn Commodities Into Stories

A handkerchief is just fabric until you call it a “tear catcher for your wedding day.” Storytelling reframes products, amplifies perceived value, and makes customers feel the purchase is emotional, not transactional.

4. Expand With the Hallmark Strategy

Don’t anchor your brand in just one event type. Weddings, anniversaries, graduations, seasonal celebrations, each is an opportunity. If a holiday exists, you can design a product and campaign around it. This creates year-round demand instead of relying on one-time purchases.

5. Leverage Google’s Product Review System

Install Google’s post-purchase review opt-in on your checkout page. When buyers agree, Google emails them directly for verified product reviews. These feed into your trusted store rating and will likely impact visibility in AI-driven search results.

Find this episode of Marketing Misfits on YouTube and anywhere you listen to podcasts

And that’s it, Beardos.

See you next Monday!

- Norm

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